I Have No Idea...

Pets are good at certain things, like licking their crotches, shedding on your clothes and getting under your feet before you manage to reach the lightswitch, but ask then to fix your car and they're utterly useless.

"To have a good time - gooood time!" - Who the hell wrote that, obviously a 40yr old virgin who had No idea what they were singing about and probably never will.

Trust good old Mother Nature to come up with millions of years of evolution to produce some of the most beautiful natural monuments the planet has ever seen - I would gladly plant a flag on ALL of them. I would. Really.

Drawing iPad applications can do real miracle letting artists from different countries of the world create amazing finger paintings. It is difficult to believe that all these masterpieces were drawn on the tablet, but it is true.

Yes! Go grandpa, just because he's a tenth of your age does not mean you don't put that mofo to the floor, sport's sport, there's no fair play, just winners and losers, and who do you want to be? That's right, winners! ROFL.

If you had any hatches and this was the view out of your window, it would probably be a good time to batten them down. This is true apocalypse style weather!

More exciting than watching your first child being born whilst walking on the moon on an IV drip of cocaine, or winning the superbowl & then discovering you have superpowers. Too bad you won't remember it in the morning.

If you think about it cute chicks are like the MSG for hawt entertainment, add a little and you have something that is waay more addictive than before - Have a look at what's on the menu tonight.

These are the celebrities most in demand every time you type their name into our favourite search engine (is there another one?). There are quite a few surprises as well as the token lesbian to feast your eyes on.

It might not be the most original fancy dress costume, but it's pretty easy to put together and pretty damn effective. All you need is a face, a knife, some guts and a zipper to glue to your face afterwards. Enjoy!

Getting a tattoo might sound like a cool thing to do, but for god's sake, think about it carefully, make sure you realise that it's for life. And under NO circumstances will Edward from Twilight ever be a good choice for a dude. FAIL!