If Your Dog Could Text...

Let's say your beloved mutt managed to grow some thumbs and was able to use a cellphone—it would probably be a very bad thing because you'd end up getting texts like this ALL THE FRIKKIN TIME.

It's that time again. Monday morning. Time for another of our patent pended diabolically delectable dumps. If you don't get at least 75% of your daily allowance of lolz from this we offer a full moneyback guarantee!

There's nothing hotter than sexy chicks straddling big powerful machines! These girls could ride on the back of my bike any day!

Just remember, you will never give less of a f#ck than when you are a child. Kids are like little rock-stars who don't need drugs and alcohol when they trash the place and defecate on themselves, it's just who they are - Be afraid.

It's a scary thought but when you have a look, some of these guys scrub up pretty good as chicks, and then again, some of them still look like they have been hit with the BIG ugly stick!

Nothing can stop these young whooper-snappers from conquering brave new worlds on their trusty mounts! Tomorrow's generation has NO fear!

Geeky gamer girls are a rare breed. These she-nerds could be the real deal or they could be of the Olivia Munn "will geek for $$$" variety. To be honest though I'm not sure if I really care.

In the name of internet efficiency, all of the unattractive players have been digitally removed - What you're left with is this cutie-concentrated selection of all of the most bootytastic bits of this beautiful game - Seen from the best angle :)

Time for photographic evidence to prove that women & alcohol are possibly the greatest combination ever - It's like the perfect blend of cutie chemistry, creating a raunchy reaction that dudes everywhere cannot stop drooling over - YES!!!!

More evidence (as if any was needed), or maybe it's some last-minute revision of the inextricable correlation between the ambient temperature and the attractiveness of the native females. Hot weather = hot women. Fact.

Just because you joined up doesn't mean you'll be spending all your time running around wielding exciting bits of weaponry. Luckily there's all kinds of fun and japes to be found in the armed forces.