Big Ass Animals

I've seen some oversize animals before but some of these are total nightmare fuel. A cricket that's big enough to chomp a whole carrot? A crab the size of a dustbin? Oh god. I think I just pooped a little.

Time to witness pure evil, right down to correctly applied eyeliner, torn fishnets, asymmetric hair and a huge appetite for cake. Some of these guys have got the side-swept bangs which cover one or both eyes down to a tee!

Puppies, kittens, lambs, calfs, you name it - if they are the animal world's newest editions and wrapped in soft fuzzy fur then our brain switches into mushy-gooey-mode and all we want to do is cuddle them and keep them safe.

I'm throwing a party and all these girls are invited! Come one, come all and bring your friends, as long as they have big butts and their idea of dressing up is to go out in a thong or micro-bikini. Res ipsa loquitur. Let the good times roll.

Just remember, you will never give less of a f#ck than when you were a child. Kids are like little rockstars who don't need drugs and alcohol when they trash the place and defecate on themselves, it's just who they are!

How do you make some of the most famous entertainers look like your average Oklahoman? Well, actually it's not as hard as you think it would be, just a change of clothes and a new hairdo and your there. Kind of.

Welcome to one of the most pleasurable pastimes on the whole planet, it's free, you can do it as many times and for as long you want (with the victim's consent) and it will always leave you with an enormous......smile :)

Denise Milani and Jamie Hammer together on the same beach. Oh what I would give to have been on that beach that day!

It's the most lethal combination known to any young teenager, the risks are just too high to take a chance. It might be uncool to drink and drive, but doing something as foolish as drinking with your buds is insane.

It's just like Brando in 'The Wild Ones' - "What are you protesting?" Reply: "Whatcha got?" Sometimes you have to take a slightly humorous approach to really get the message across. Sometimes you just wanna protest and have fun.

Some people really do have a 'special' relationship with their pets. I'm not gonna dwell on how surreal some of these inages are because there is definitely something sinister going on. It sends a shiver down my spine!