All was atwitter over at Twitter as accounts were hacked and lurid secrets exposed. Fox News made a not so startling revelation about Bill O'Reilly's sexual orientation and Rick Sanchez just can't seem to stay away from that glass pipe. PUT IT DOWN RICK! Plus Britney's growler seems likes it's more ferocious than a lion's den. Open wide, indeed.

The thing is some people are getting all outraged and annoyed, but what if they weren't really hacked and these people just wanted to tell us a few home truths about themselves and this is just a big cover-up? Did someone say conspiracy? Oh, you were just sneezing. My apologies.

But anyway, if only they were true. What could we be seeing next? Kanye West admits his music is not that good, and he could probably do better if he teamed up with Fiddy Cent - maybe do a duet of Somethin' Stupid? Brings a joyful tear to my eye just thinking of it. Then Lindsay Lohan announces she's going to give up booze and become celibate. John Cleese posts something vaguely amusing breaking a 20 year 'no humour' policy, and Tom Waits claims he's penned a track that you can actually make out the words to.

Plus Sarah Palin posts her thoughts on epistemology posing such mind-boggling questions as how do we 'know' something and what does it mean to 'learn'. And finally Tweety Pie claims he definitely did not 'taut he taw a puddy tat'. He was just sleepy, that combined with his medication can play funny tricks on a bird's brain - it was probably just a pair of tights or something.

So where were you the other night, aye? Ram-raiding an adult shop, then ram-raiding their dolls? Well somebody was. The thing that disgusts me most about this tragic tale is not the wanton destruction of somebody else's property, lord no, that much I like, but how this man treated those poor harmless dolls.

It's a sad indictment of our fragmented, selfish society when a robber doesn't even have the decency to take the dolls out for a nice meal first and then drop them home safely after he's done the deed. I mean, when did society sink so low as to allow this sort of ungentlemanly behaviour to carry on? Not on my watch that's for sure. Did this guy's parents teach him nothing? Fine smash through a shop window, we've all done that at one time or another when we're desperate for the goods, it's pretty much how I go shopping, but to then just abandon the dolls like he does? It saddens me to my very core. Surely it signals more than any other villainous act how low our callous, emotionally-crippled society has sunk.

The small glimmer of hope we can cling on to like an inflatable doll in a flood is that the guy at least cleans up any mess he makes, so at least some manners his parents taught him have sunk in.

Praise be.